As most of you know, I have returned to work this week. It is a struggle in many ways that I didn’t think would be possible. I had imagined myself crying at my desk at lunch, unable to cope with the fact that I am not with my baby. I do not cry at work and I know that she is having fun playing at daycare (so much fun in fact, that they are having trouble getting her to nap).
My problem is that I don’t find the joy in my job that I have in raising my baby. I don’t care about, what I think of as, the trivial day-to-day details. Right now, I simply cannot imagine doing this day in, day out for the next 20 years. My goals for the year? They aren’t to carry out this mission or that objective for the company but to make sure that my little girl is happy and healthy.
The other problem is that we cannot afford for me to quit my job so I must go.
Does anyone have any advice on how I can manage to immerse myself properly in work so that the days stop inching by and the evenings stop racing forward?