Struggling

As most of you know, I have returned to work this week. It is a struggle in many ways that I didn’t think would be possible. I had imagined myself crying at my desk at lunch, unable to cope with the fact that I am not with my baby. I do not cry at work and I know that she is having fun playing at daycare (so much fun in fact, that they are having trouble getting her to nap).

My problem is that I don’t find the joy in my job that I have in raising my baby. I don’t care about, what I think of as, the trivial day-to-day details. Right now, I simply cannot imagine doing this day in, day out for the next 20 years. My goals for the year? They aren’t to carry out this mission or that objective for the company but to make sure that my little girl is happy and healthy.

The other problem is that we cannot afford for me to quit my job so I must go.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can manage to immerse myself properly in work so that the days stop inching by and the evenings stop racing forward?

Advertisements

,

  1. #1 by San on January 28, 2011 - 10:44 pm

    I wish I had a satisfying answer… if you do have some down time during the day, try to fill it with something that you like… take some knitting to work, or, if you can’t do that, keep a little journal at your desk where you can write down your thoughts, feelings, new ideas… whenever I feel bored at work, my minds start to wonder and I try to think about things that make me happy and inspire me.
    That usually helps me through rough days. 😉

    {hugs}

    • #2 by impossiblyalice on January 29, 2011 - 7:27 pm

      Thanks for those great ideas San. Part of the problem probably is that the right side of my brain is unengaged at work. Not the whole problem of course, but I can’t do anything about HAVING to go to work at this point of my life.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: