Posts Tagged family

One Week: What Would You Do?

Have you seen the movie One Week starring Joshua Jackson? I saw it a few years ago and rather enjoyed it in a morbid way. I remember I cried at the end of it. A lot. It was a messy ugly snotty cry.

I am not in the same situation but I only have one week of my maternity leave left and for some reason I keep on thinking about this movie.

What would you do?

I tried to get as much of my errands done before this week (thank you internet for allowing me to do some shopping online!) so we could relax at home and have a chill week. Maybe watch a few movies. Maybe One Week will be on! And visit daycare so my baby boy will not have a complete meltdown or baby version of a panic attack when he starts. To say he is shy is a bit of an understatement.

But life being as it is, changes thing. Our pipes needed Roto Rootering (is that a word?). Our basement shower was supposedly not pretty this weekend. My husband dealt with it because I was busy with a sick baby. He had a fever Friday and Saturday. Yesterday morning his fever had broken and he had a good day and slept a lot. Which meant of course that he only had one ½ hour nap today despite the fact that he was grumpy and clearly needed a nap. And we had Roto Rooter come this morning. So my day was not quite so chill and my house had eau de sewer today.

I am excited to return to work. But at the same time I am one big ball of anxiety for my baby to go to daycare.

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A New Chapter Begins

Time becomes such a strange thing as you get older. I can’t comprehend how much has changed since this time last year, yet time has gone by way too fast!

Last year we had a fondue New Year’s Eve for just the 2 of us. It was a nice and quiet New Year’s and just what we needed. We were both way too tired to have anyone over and entertain because we never got more than 2 hours of sleep at a time. And this was if we were lucky!

On this day last year, I was struggling to recover from my c section and starting to get restless. I had some minor setbacks the week before and was ordered to do less, which was hard because I wasn’t doing much. My baby was still too small to be able to breast feed so I had a tedious routine every 3 hours: wake baby, feed baby, pump, change diaper, sterilize the equipment at least twice a day and it was really starting to get to me. Luckily when we were able to transition to full breast feeding, she took to it awesomely.

My husband went to our annual late Christmas with his Dad and we decided that the baby and I would stay home because it was too much work for him to haul us and all of our equipment around. Not only did he have to carry the baby and all the standard stuff when you have a new baby such as a pile of diapers, sleepers, blankets, cloths, etc, but we had to bring all the pumping equipment and ensure it remained sterilized because of her compromised immune system due to being near term. And I would have to have a place where I could pump in privacy. The only room on the main floor of my brother in law’s house with a door was their tiny bathroom and I didn’t want to pump in there and I wasn’t cleared by the doctor to go up and down stairs yet (my husband was very insistent on following all the doctor’s recovery orders).

Even though we were tired and our house was definitely not festive, it was a wonderful start to a year. We didn’t know what to expect but our little girl has managed to give us the most magical year. Now, my year at home with her is drawing to a close way to quickly and a new chapter of my life is about to begin. I am going to learn how to adjust to being a working Mom. It will be hard to balance everything out and give my little girl all the attention she deserves but I am sure that between my husband and I, we will find the balance we need to raise our daughter together so that she turns into a happy and confident toddler who is sure of herself and our love for her.

 

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Please Stop

My daughter has a birthmark on her hand/forearm. It’s medical name is a hemangioma, many people refer to it as a strawberry patch. Around 6 months we noticed it stop growing and it is most definitely fading. This birthmark is a part of my daughter but isn’t who she IS. We call it her “princess power spot” because that sounds more fun.

I know it is harder for parents whose babies have these marks on their faces or have ones that grow so big it causes medical complications. Luckily we’ve only had one scare with it bleeding. But like those parents, we know that there is much more to our baby than blood vessels near the skin. I actually took a picture of it the day before it bled.

Now, the surface of it is mostly smooth and the angry red colour is going away.

Yet people seem to feel like they have to comment on it all the time. My family often has to tell me “oh, her birthmark isn’t as big” or “as dark”. Don’t I know that though? Do you really need to comment on it? I don’t want my daughter to grow up feeling ashamed because she has some skin that is a little bit red on her hand or arm. I don’t want her to think it is the first or only thing people notice about her.

People ask us if we are going to send her for surgery to get it fixed. As if to show us we have options, I suppose. For us, the only option is letting it go away naturally. Why would we put our daughter through unnecessary physical pain in order to fix something that isn’t wrong to begin with? Something that will most likely clear up on it’s own? Do these people look at my daughter and just see this one tiny imperfection? Don’t they see the wonderful baby she is?

Strangers are almost as bad. I get the curious “what is that” very often, sometimes from kids. Some people have never seen one before and genuinely want to know. I don’t think I noticed anyone having one before her. Some people ask me about it knowing what it is just so they can tell me all about everyone they ever knew who had one and what it looks like now. I guess they think that know their friend’s cousin’s uncle’s step child had one that went away is really going to reassure me. Because, of course knowing someone who has or had one means they know more than the doctors about it.

Then there are the people who think I am walking around with my daughter who I’ve burned. Walking down the street I sometimes hear people comment on her “burn”. I just continue walking. Once a mom at playgroup asked me if I burned her hand. I was so horrified by that I didn’t know what to say beyond “no, it’s a birthmark”. Some think it’s a rash.

My husband hopes that there are faint markings left from it. He imagines her getting some sort of awesome tattoo in that area.

I really don’t care what happens as long as she is happy. To me she is this wonderful and funny little being who completely changed my life for the better. She fake coughs when she is hungry and tired, she loves to squeal in her Jolly Jumper, waves when we enter a room in case someone is there, her favourite food is blueberries, she has the most infectious laugh I’ve ever heard, her main goal is life is to play as hard as possible. And she just happens to have a birthmark on her hand.

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